“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all. You don’t meet a girl like that every dynasty.” – Mulan (The Emperor Of China)
Adversity: That’s something that finds me well recently. Well, not just recently actually, I have always been through some sorts of difficulties in life, in a smaller or bigger scale, from being in a toxic and violent relationship for years, suffering from depression after the loss of someone special, to start building my new self from country to country, facing every aspects of danger and pain alone. This is actually something that I don’t complain about, though, I sometimes am scared and afraid to suffer; however this is what I was meant to live, as I wrote in my previous post: I am just as attracted to danger as much. Danger can be anything meant to be a challenge for myself. And that’s the main keyword of what describes me best: “It’s a challenge, I’ll go for it!”.
If there is an easier way to do things, I always make sure to take the most difficult one. Always! A direct flight of 10 hours? No way. I want the one with 3 stop overs, and better if they are in 3 different countries!
A 5 star hotel in the city centers? I will take the most far away one, to experience the suburbs and the local transports that will take me downtown. The funny thing is that when I travel alone, it’s okay, nobody complains. When it comes to travel with someone, somehow, at some point, they start to wonder something like:
- ” Why on earth did we rent an apartment in Tenderloin (SF, known to be the most “dangerous” district in town)?”
- “Next time Fede I am not gonna run to catch a plane just because you wanted to visit the city with a 2 hours layover. Next time only direct flights. Maybe next time I wont even travel with you!” =P
These are small examples to help you understand what it really defines me: craziness and hunger to always do something more, experience something new. In every aspect of life, whatever risks they are, I analyze them first, so I kind of prepare myself of what I will might have to face, and then I just accept the challenge, until I win, which doesn’t mean I will get positive results in everything, in fact, the opposite: winning means understanding the situation, all the struggles, all the pain and learn the lesson, to keep following the process to grow up as a better person.
There is only one small point that makes adversity be kind of “negative” for myself: the more I experience, the more I learn and become stronger, and I prefer to hurt myself (as I know I can handle it) instead of hurting others that I care, even though, unconsciously I might end up doing so. The point is that I simply don’t know how to love myself first.
Most of us understand what it means to love another person. The feelings of intense desire, admiration and emotional investment in another person are likely familiar. We go through great lengths to nurture our love towards others. But loving yourself? That can feel like a foreign concept to many of us. Self-love is a combination of self-acceptance, self-possession (different than self-obsession), self-awareness, and kindness and respect for ourselves. Self-love is both conceptual, an idea that you are worthy of self respect and gentleness, and an action, treating yourself with compassion and nurturance. Put simply, self-love is positive self-regard in action.
This time I will really try hard to self respect and like myself. I want to believe in my family and friends’ words:
“The one who will be able to keep up with you will realize how lucky he is to have you in his life”.
Let the hardest challenge begins!