Writing was one of my favorite things before, I used to write to let things off me and from my mind. Recently though, I haven’t done it and it feels heavier and heavier to start typing again. What happened? Life changes.. maybe? Or am I just slowly dying inside? Don’t know exactly.

I’m a life lover – and some of you know me pretty well – I can’t live without emotions. But it seems so hard to be so deep as I am at times, I’m not saying it’s wrong to be deep – I LOVE depth, deep thoughts and deep minds. But I kinda got to know that very few people in the world are keen on having real, authentic conversations. They prefer to live easily, run away from problems, show off that their life is great, never face life for what it is and, most importantly (the saddest part), they never show their vulnerable side who make them so unique. I wondered why, I’ve asked many people as well. One doctor from Japan – who’s in his 60s now – told me “You need to have a very strong heart to face life for what it is and show your authentic self”. How true this sentence is!

Regarding the heart… I mean, years ago, I grappled profoundly with trying to harmonize my mind and heart. I once believed that a strong mind was my passport to professional achievements and success in life. However, I eventually realized that this mental resilience was gradually distancing me from my true essence- day by day, month by month, and year by year. Each time, reconnecting with my heart became increasingly challenging. However, that changed when I decided to seek therapy, even if just for a short period. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my heart was in anguish- I later discovered in my sessions that I was living contrary to my true purpose. I was always destined to be guided by my emotions. Thus, in my late 20s, I acknowledged the necessity of opening my heart and welcoming my true self. And so, here I am. I’ve been conversing with myself for a long while now, cherishing the solitude of moments spent alone, whether on a train ride or gazing out from the window seat of a plane- the dreamer’s seat.

Although, it gets really hard at times to live like this in a society where superficiality reigns.

Sorry, just some random thoughts I needed to write.